The Down Fall to My Surgery …Yeah there are a few you know

So I am very excited about this surgery ( tummy tuck for those who do not know ) and in fact I have little to no nerves about it. Thats mainly because I try not to think about the of so painful side and keep thinking about the oh so lovely results side ha ha.

 There are some major downsides though that I cannot stop thinking about and keep running through my mind.

The main one is Sonnet. I have put this vast amount of work into getting her fit and working well with me. This horse is a super star I know for you non horse people it means nothing but imagine it this way for the mums: your kid has been potty trained and no longer pees in the middle of the living room…thats a feeling of joy for you yes ? Well Sonnet being so much more fit and listening and learning so quickly is a pure feeling of joy for me. She has learnt incrediably quick what I want from her and how to do it and it is a unreal thing really. I am of the belief that what she has learnt in 2 months would normally take like 6. So you can understand my concern.

 So once I have the surgery on May 7th I then will not be able to go to the gym for 6 weeks which pushes me into the end of April …no bigggy I can handle that. The riding though will be 7-8 weeks so we are talking end of June. I suppose the massive incision for hip to hip is not going to work well with riding a horse is it really !

 I am not however concerned about the healing or the pain either. I have seemed to accept that I cannot avoid this and it is going to happen I am just going to ensure I am on copious amounts of heavy sedatives while this goes one, not only will they be effective pain control they will be fun dammit !

I have to quit smoking for my surgery as the will not operate otherwise. I am actually excited about this yes you read right I am excited about quitting …to be fair I am thinking all that know me are not so excited at the prospect of a eternally bitchy edgy crazy Louisa ….no I am not like that normally !

So yeah that is part of my list of downfalls of surgery, the biggest one being Sonnet and not being able to ride her FOREVER !! lol lol

Does It Give You Unrealistic Expectations ?….

I am a big reader and movie watcher. I read on average 1 – 2 books a week when I am on good form. I cannot sleep unless I have read something anything! Even if I may have had one to many drinks I still have to try and read at 3 in the morning. Of course I remember nothing of what I read in those situations and generally wake up with the book stuck to the side of a drool covered face …hmmm wonder why I am single ??? Any clues ?

It is the same with movies I can eat my way through multiple movies in one day. If the mood takes me I can easily watch 4 or 5 in a day …surgery is going to be fun as will be bed ridden so a lot of movies shall be watched I do believe.

 Where I seem to have a problem is some of the genre of books I read and movies I watch. I LOVE chick Lit books the Sophie Kinsellas of the world. I adore chick flicks like Notting Hill and Catch and Release.

I ask if these styles give me unrealistic expectations? Do I read these books about love and boys and dating and then have a idea imprinted in my mind that this is what should happen to me. That I should have this perfectly formed beautiful relationship with some bronzed toned beautiful sensitive yet manly man? I am thinking that this is highly unlikely that this will not happen to me and I accept that. But when I read these books its almost as if I am living vicariously through the characters in the books! It is in fact almost as if I am pretending it is in fact me I am reading about and not the actualt character the author has put pen to paper about !

Movies are even worse because unlike the majority of books I read the movies will actually make me cry like the single somewhat sad spinster that I appear to fast becoming. I watch them and even in the god damn happy bits of the movies I feel pathetic. You would think that if I knew that these styles of movies would evoke a reaction such as this I would simply not rent or buy the movie and watch it …and yet I do. They are sort of a addiction something I cannot seem to get enough of and surely this cannot be normal people !?!?! please tell me I am the only one that does this !

So the question is if these books and these movies are almost detrimental to the mental health of all sad single women like me? Do they create these unattainable goals and ideas for us all? Do they lead you into a false sense of security? I am thinking that in fact they likely do. Does this mean I would stop reading and watching them …hell no they are like my drug people. If I am going to be single and well single then at least I can live through the fantasy of writing and watching other peoples fictional lives and maybe live with the fairytale that yes in fact these things do happen to normal people

Music Time !

 I have not written lately about the music I am listening to mainly because I had not found anything new that I have fallen in love with or old that I have re – fallen in love with. I have though in the last week found something I am adoring.

 I watched the Oscars the other week and particularly the best song award. I watched the singers Glen Hansard and Marketa Inglova sing their nominated song ” Falling Slowly ” From the first note I knew instantly I would love it. They did not disappoint. I adored it. I finally got round to buying the sound track to the movie “Once” ( rent it. watch it. fall in love with it like I did. ) Not only did these 2 amazing singers win the best song Oscar but they also starred in the movie.

This Album raises the hairs on my arms. It made me laugh and it made me cry. In my eyes this is the purpose of music it is meant to invoke and gut emotional reaction when you listen to it and this one album does just that! I think the back story to it also is what makes it that much more a incredible album. The fact these are 2 independent artist. They made the movie with 100,000 dollars ( i believe) shot it in 3 weeks with 2 handy cams and produced a amazing piece of work and a even more unreal album from it. I read a blurb on Glen Hansard and he stated that he knew he was falling in love with Marketa Inglova throughout the shooting of the film. Telling himself she was just to young ( he is 38 and she is 20) but somehow it worked out and they are now together. this just adds to the love that has clearly been poured into this album.

 What has made it a even more endearing and timeless album is the fact that along with doing duets together there are individual songs as well. My favorite duet is the award winning song “falling Slowly” it is stunning to listen to. My favorite solo song is actually one of the ones Marketa sings which is called “The Hill” ( you need to watch to movie to see what makes this song so significant) and the other favorite song is the duet between them on the song ” If you want me” there is something very very haunting about Marketa’s voice that gives you a hair raising gut reaction to it.

So if you want to hear some truly well thought out and beautifully composed and written music then you need to buy this album as soon as you can. I can safely say that the sound track to Once is in my top 10 of albums at present and I cannot actually see it leaving the top 10 anytime soon.

The Oscar they one was well and truly deserved and I congratulate them both!!  

The “Stuff” of My Life Recently

Apologies yet again for the recent silence on the blog all. I have actually not been lazy but just damn busy with …Life !

Firstly my amazing news. I am now leasing a lovely horse who goes by the name Sonnet. She has me wrapped around her horsey finger and can safely say fell in love with her the minute I lay eyes on her. I have waited 10 years to find that “One” that fits me, that reads me and that rides like a poem. This girl does just that. Her owner is a lovely women who has kindly given me free reign to ride and train with Sonnet at the stables. My passion for riding has been ignited yet again and if I could be there right now riding, I would be.

Aron has kindly agreed to train me and to be very blunt I could not be in better hands! She is firm enough to tell me when I am riding like a fool or below my ability but she is intutive enough to know when i need that encouragement and those words of ” you are doing a good job” I trust her opinion above all else on my riding standard ability and faults. If she says it she is right as far as I am concerned! I want to go far with this mare and show to the highest level we can and with Arons help I know I can do this !!

So this of course has all taken my time up in the biggest of ways. Currently I am riding 5 – 6 days a week and going to the gym as well 3 – 4 days a week. So come the weekends I am so tired but you know it is a happy tired or better yet a satisfied tired!!

 Dating life….I cannot even begin to describe this without possibly feeling somewhat down. I had thought I had found what was potentially a lovely guy and have been on a number of some truly great dates and yet I have had a week of silence from him. I would have no issue if he did not think it was going anywhere. What i have a issue with is the sheer ignorance and cowardice not to just say “yeah not interested” its called life you do that it is also called manners and common curtesoy as well !! So I feel as though i am back to square one. I will say this though and it is not said in a defeatist mentailty just so you know. I truly do not believe I am ever going to have a successful dating life like ever at leastnot in Canada…I clearly do not tick all the “boxes” of Canadian men and seem to have the never ending bad luck. So rather then go through the heart ache and the waiting game of hoping for a relationship I am just not going to bother its just to much work you know …..

Aron and I are off to the UK in 16 days !!!! I cannot wait !!! you have no idea it is not like a holiday for me it is a home coming ! My heart I think will forever be in England. It will be like taking a trip home to visit a old friend that is in fact a entire country society and culture. Mason is meeting us on our last day and I can safely say I am sooo happy at the thought of seeing one of my dearest closest and most trusted friends! We are also taking a day trip to Brussels to see my world dominating brilliant little sister!! I am really looking forward to that part of the trip and spending time with Alex

So that is all right n0w I am sure I will think of more !!