Falling Slowly

One of my favorite songs and the song that touches me every time I listen to it ( which is like once a day right now LOL ) is Falling Slowly  by Glen Hansard from the movie he did Once ( which is also in my top 3 fav movies ) So thought I would put the lyrics up as they are just that good people ! Listen to it and then do yourself a favour and go by the Once sound track

 

I don’t know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can’t react
And games that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

                                        Take this sinking boat and point it home
                                               We’ve still got time
                                 Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
                                               You’ve made it now

                                    Falling slowly, eyes that know me
                                                And I can’t go back
                                       Moods that take me and erase me
                                              And I’m painted black
                                            You have suffered enough
                                            And warred with yourself
                                              It’s time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I’ll sing along

Yes I am Single and 30 …Get Over it Already !

It is not that big a deal to be single and 30 people ! Honestly I swear to you it really is not and there are a load of women out there just like me, we are really not that rare.

 I am forever getting asked “why are you single” OR ” are you divorced ? Is that why you are single now?” NO I am not bloody divorced!

What I am is a women who knows what she wants out of a relationship and I am not willing to settle for whatever comes my way. That my friends is why people my age ARE divorced ! Is it a crime to know and wait for what I want out of a man ? I think not. I have my list I know what boxes a guy needs to check for me to want to date them and have a relationship with them.

 I know that I need someone who is strong and smart and quick witted to be able to keep up and handle me …so why would I settle for something less when I know I need that. I know I need someone who is damn funny …why would I settle for boring and non funny knowing it is something I need !? I want someone who knows the world and has travalled and most importantly still wants to travel because I do ..why would I settle for someone who wants to stay home stay in their country and never expand their world when I clearly want to ??? of course I would not want that. I have a career so clearly I need someone who also has a career …why in gods green earth would I settle for what is effectively a no hoper or a non driven person ???

 

So when I am asked why I am not married or dating that special someone or when I am asked why is it I am still single ( as if lightening is going to strike me down on the spot ) I simply say because I will not settle I will not take the first guy who comes along. I am unwavering in my belief that there is someone who is out there who “matches” me I am unwavering in my desire to be in a equal relationship. I will not settle for the guy that comes and says ” hmm yeah lets date your hot” lol lol I mean come on I have standards people

So please do not judge me for not wanting to be that perfectly coupled 30 year old. Yes some people get panicy and want to settle as they get older ..I get panicy for christ sakes but bloody hell at least I am ensuring I do not make a mistake dive for the first one and then regret it 10 years down the road. I personally think I am a damn good example for other women out there that settling is not the answer , pressuring a guy into a commited relationship because your terrified is not the answer. Waiting seeing and making sure it is the right guy the right time and the right path is the right bloody way to do it and should be seen as a good example

The Ultimate Halloween Costume

Tonight is the night I shall actually be going out on the town to do the Halloween thing and Birthday thing. I am off on a pub crawl which to put it mildly …will be interesting !

 

I struggled this year trying to get a halloween costume picked and sorted out. There is simply to much choice and the pressure to have a good costume is mind blowing !

However I do believe I have succeeded and gotten myself a excellent yet practical costume This year folks I am a ……GIANT BEER BOTTLE ! Yep a beer bottle and its big dammit. Not only does it rock costume wise it is also practical as I will not be freezing my damn ass off due to the sheer size and thickness of said beer bottle …I am old now and my old bones do not handle the cold well ok !

Of course pictures will be put up for all to laugh and poke fun of

Happy Halloween all and have a safe one !

The Decade to Come …My 10 Year Bucket List

It has been noted that I am struggling with the whole I am turning or turned 30 today. It has been the first birthday I have ever had major issues with …but whatever I will deal with it I am a tough girl ( as my bones turn to powder and I become OLD !!! )

 So rather the then go down the route of regret for things not done in my 20′s and rather then feeling sorry for myself and coming to the quick realization that I am old I have decided I need to set up a 10 year bucket list. I need a list of things I want to do and accomplish over the next 10 years. Everyone wants different things, everyone wants to experince thrills and spills and so here is my list.

1. Go scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef
2. Go to Rio de Janerio for Carnival
3. Love unconditionally and be loved unconditionally
4. Find my soul mate and best friend
5. Go to Africa !
6. Quit Smoking ( yes I know I have to do this either way )
7. Run some sort of marathon or half marathon
8. Learn to row properly and join a team to do it regularly
9. Go to a NHL hockey Game
10. Go to a international Rugby match ( yes already done this but loved it )
11. Buy a home and make a home for myself
12. …..possibly get married ? lol lol
13. Go to the Maldives
14. Show in 3rd level dressage
15. Buy a second horse primarely for Jumping only ( a boy horse )
16. Go back to Australia and New Zealand

Ok so thats it for now it is a small list and I will add to it I am sure but those are some of the things want to accomplish over the next 10 years if possible

The past Decade in Short Form

 I am in the last 24 hours of my 20′s …..I am so clinging onto it with all my might. Tomorrow I turn 30 and tomorrow is the start of a new decade for me. So I thought in honor of this milestone ( which as a side note it is soooo not it is actually getting old dammit ) I would go over the most influential parts of my life over this last decade.

 I entered my 20′s in a state of heartbreak and turmoil. My dad had passed away 2 months prior to my 20th birthday so to be frank I have no memory of what it was I did to celebrate my 20Th and frankly it really does not matter because it is likely to best describe my state of mind at that time as angry and bitter from losing him. I am strangely enough entering my 30′s not in heart breakbut something similar which is a slightly empty feeling. Now do not get me wrong I am beyond happy with who I am and who I have become but none the less I still feel empty sometimes or possibly even lonely.

 I spent the better part of my 20′s in a different country with a different life and with the most amazing people I could have met. I was 21 when I left for the UK and 27 when I came back to Canada so the majority of the last decade was in the UK. I can say hands down it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I had to learn how to lookafter myself completely. I had to learn how to deal with all the things life would throw at me. I had to deal with utter betrayalfrom a relationship which ended due to cheating. If you have never been through something like that I will describe it to you …crushing and debilitating, it sucked the faith out of me that people could have a true and honest relationship. It turned me into a angry and bruised girl. But there is light at the end of that disaster always and you need to know if you are going through it now that it does in fact get better and you do in fact learn from it which is what I did.

I established a career in my last decade which is a hard thing to explain. Best way to describe it is project management. The point is I am good at it and I learnt how to do it in my 20′s. To anyone in their early 20′s now and thinking “I have no idea what I am going to do ! ” Now is the time to figure it out and to carve your path in life. Set yourself up now so that when you get into the next decade you have a direction and purpose in life

 My 20′s was my time to understand what the meaning of true friendship is and how to keep it and cherish it. I met one of my 2 best friends in my 20′s and even now thinking about it tears me up and makes me so grateful. I met Mason when I was 22 and loud and full of myself. He hated me when he first layed eyes on me…said I was loud and in your face. Now in my 30′s he loves me for it ! he taught me that it is ok to rely on friends and to lean on them in times of need and pain and for that I am forever grateful and he is one of the reasons my 20′s turned out so damn well. Miss seeing him every day dearly but think about him every day and know in my heart he is one of the best friends a person could wish for. In my late 20′s I reconnected with my oldest and dearest friend Aron. After a 10 year gap she reappeared and will never ever go away. She reminds me to be me and she makes me feel worthy as a person. So see friendship wise the 20′s are likely going to be my most influential time I think

 The biggest thing I can take away from the last decade is that I know who I am I know where I am going and I know it is right. I know that it is ok to love fiercely and without binds. I know that people will never always accept you for you but ..who cares all that matters is that I accept me for me. I know now I am stunning and radiant and beautiful inside and out, it took at least 7 years of my 20′s for realize that and now I will hang on to it for life. I know that you will always have to make the tough and heart wrenching decisions in life and you must make them or you are a coward. I now know I can stand on my own to feet and do it well. I can look up towards the sky on a sunny day and smile and look back and think …I have lead a amazing life thus far and it can only get better and better

I may be entering my 30′s with a slightly empty or lonely feeling but I know for a fact I am entering it with friends like Aron who make me feel worthy and friends like Mason who remind me I am stunning and with a family who reminds me I am loved wanted and a much valued part of their lives

So bring it on 30′s lets see what the next decade brings my way. Lets see if it will be as wild a ride as the last decade has been for me

Bye 20′s you will be remembered missed and loved

Musical and Thank you Notes

So I steal a lot of good music from my siblings …a lot

From my brother it is the likes of Sam Roberts and Postal Service ( 2 of my mainstays on my ipod …thanks bro ! )

From my sister it is the likes of Jack Johnson and the next guy I am about to write about and reccomend !

My sister has me completely and utterly hooked and converted to the love of Jason Mraz! I cannot stop listening to him and so I reckoned it was time to share him and express my love of his damn good music.

Favorite tune has to be I’m Yours. This song is another “makes me smile” or “gives me faith in love” song. I hear it and I am instantly happy smiling inside and out and it just makes me want to go and dance in the rain ( or snow) There are 2 lines in the song that resonate with me. First one which is one I shall use as my motto from now on is ” Its our god forsaken right to be loved” . First time I heard that line I smiled and thought god damn that is completely and utterly the truest statment ever! The other is basically me through and through lol and sums me up completely in a sentence and it is ” I’ve been spending way to long checking my tongue in the mirror and bending over backwards just to try and see you clearer but my breath fogged up the glass so I drew a new face and laughed” I love that line it is the best line EVER !

The other song is the ultimate love song really and it makes you smile endlessly when you hear it. Lucky Feat Colbie Caillat. It is just stunning with lines like ” you make it easier when life gets hard” and ” lucky i’m in love with my best friend, lucky to have been where i have been,lucky to be coming home again”

 

So if you want to buy the feel good album then this is the one you buy. If you feel jaded or slightly down or believe love no longer exists then buy this album. Even more important if you are in love or you are in that happy place we all strive for then buy this album for that other person and make it that random act of love and let them enjoy it with you

 

On a final note thank you very much Sister for introducing me to this rocking guy ! love it !

Christmas Ornament Swap !!! OHHHHH !!

Oh yes the demon has been awoken in me !! It can all be blamed on her completely her fault !!

 

Anyway last year she did a ornament swap arranged by the lovely lady !! and I thought it was a brilliant Idea …. plus I was secretly jealous !!

So this year I have sent my email off and some lucky person shall be getting a truly canadian ornament ( do not worry it will not involve frozen beaver or moose poop !  it could involve stuffed little polar bears or eskimos though !! lol  )

 

Ohhh Christmas is coming !!!!!! OHHHHHHH !!!!!! OHHHHH!!!!!!

Do Not Vote Palin In As VP !! I am Begging you !

So before I go on my Palin rant ( which really will be a rant !! ) I need to tell you a little tid bit about my mum …she is going to kill me for doing this but it is the blog and all goes on the blog !

 It pains me on so many levels to say this ….my mum likes palin ( I just ran to the bathroom poured bleach on my hands for typing that and I am running round the room screaming lalalalalalala!!! its not true!!! ) I want to be adopted out if Palin wins ( not going to happen by the way ) Why mum why ?!

 

 Ok just finished watching the debate and cringing multiple times. Firstly she started the debate by winking ….yes winking at the camera ..more then once …why??? Because she is actually creepy thats why

Secondly she said that she did not want the USA to have to use outside sources of energy. The reality of todays world is that you will always use ouside energy it is unavoidable. If she were to follow through with this it would screw Canada on so many levels ( did you hear that mum SCREW US !! and me and my job !!) I work in the gas and oil sector so it would directly effect me of course. She said she wanted to use the resources of Alaska and its clean energy, natural gas and oil. Explain to me Mrs Palin how you plan on getting that to your country ……through Canada…cut off the trade we cut off the pipeline lady !

She is just so inexperinced and so creepy and simplyt put the wrong person to be vice president of the United States.

I can only pray that the intelligent voters of the US will ensure she does not get elected to the office of vice President. That they realize the detriment she will be to their country both in there own homeland policies and on the greater scale of the rest of the world. That they will realize that she has no guts behind the bite and she will crumble like a 3 year old at the first sign of major crisis. Why would you want to have that leading your country?

As a side note to those who still think there is something there with her ( you included mum ! ) go onto YouTube and look up her interview with Katie Couric ! She was like a dear in the headlights, unable to answer questions and vasy amounts of avoidance to all questions. If she cannot handle a interview with the know Miss Nice of TV how will she handle poltics on a world wide scale infront of heads of state, foriegn ministers, kinds queens etc …she won’t the simple answer is she will crumble !

 

PLease vote Obama/Bidden people I am begging you to !

I Want these Shoes !!

One of my blogging hero’s,  Suburban Mum , recently went to her best friends weddding and was also the photo guru for it as well ( sh eis a photo curu guys I want to steal her to come take random pics of me riding !! ) Anyway one of the pics she took was of her best friends wedding shoes and all I can say is I want them like you would not believe

Firstly they are like the best fall shoes ever secondly my birthday is exactly 29 days away and I will find those shoes to wear on my 30th bday as my way of ringing in the next decade!!!!

( Thanks SM for giving me yet another obsession ! lol)

I am not a Princess…I just have Princess tendencies …

OK so I get called a princess….ALOT ! Most people would either be proud of that or offended by that …I am simply indifferent to it really.

 I think though that when people who do not know me call me a princess then I am slightly offended by it.

So I live with my mum right now but I do pay rent ( OK a small amount of rent but it is rent ! ) I help around the property with the yard work in the summer and snow removal/wood chopping in the winter. I try not to take advantage of it but she is just to damn good to me. I am spoiled in the sense that I do have dinner made for me and lunch is normally there for me to take to work the next day, I realize that this is not the norm however it does not make me a princess.

It is assumed because I have this arrangement with my mum that I have never had to live a day in my life by myself …HMMMMMM HELLO !! lived in the UK BY MYSELF for almost 6 years. Rented my own home bought my own car had a career, did my own shopping ( yes indeed I do know how to grocery shop people ) and generally fend for myself

Do I have princess tendencies …of course I do I will not deny that I cannot help it ! I shop endlessly and I do generally get what I want but not in the sense of throwing a fit stomping my feet and dcrying for it …I am far more cunning then that give me some credit please.

I camp but I will not use a outhouse! who wants to use a outhouse. I get dirty and I am not afraid of mud but god dammit there better be a hot shower with expenisve soap and shampoo waiting for me. Yes I get a manicure and pedicure every 2.5 weeks …it is a must have for anyone !!

 So the point of this rant is that yes I have princess tendencies but so does every single women out there. But what I am not is spoilt or lacking in wordly and life experince !

So please do not generalize me and assume something about me as a person if you are not aware of my life and history

Rant done