Recently I have started re evaluating my dating life. I think every women does this and every women does it with a purpose or a intent to better themselves or to better their dating life.
I find dating one of the most taxing hard things to do. I mean think about it! You spend x amount of time “vetting” a potential date you go through the motions of making sure they are firstly not a player perv or serial dater . You go through the motions of what basically amounts to a interview. You are effectively interviewing a potential guy or girl to figure out if they match or tick off the criteria you require as a person to be able to fully enjoy them and the date.
Once you go through that little and some what daunting process you finally make that leap of faith that moment where you say ” hell yes I am ready to open up to you and go for this date and I am all yours for the next hour 2 hours day or whatever” Its hard work people you have no idea. I always find people that are in a committed relationship or married rather smug when they speak to a single person. It is as if they have forgotten how taxing a single life and the never ending search really is.
I can actually count in the last 3 months on my one hand ( not both ) the amount of dates that I have thoroughly enjoyed and then those dates never follow through. Like any normal human and any women I then try and figure out where “I” went wrong ?? Then it hit me recently …I am not going wrong it has nothing to do with me it has everything to do with them. It is like false advertising and then projecting there issues onto the person they went on a date with. I came to the realization that I am nothing but open and honest and forthright about the entire situation and about myself….major break through for me. It was a break through that basically was along the lines of “fuck you I am good I am a great catch and I know what I want and if you are so shallow or cruel to not follow through then it is your loss not mine now move on” HUGE BREAK THROUGH.
Then something funny happened this week. My trainer at the barn gave me this CD called “Insync with the opposite sex” Now I am nto a self help person never have been I march to my own drum. But this CD has been a utter eye opener for me and I have already given it to one girlfriend with others lined up and I have a few men in mind who seriously need to get this and listen to this asap for their own good and sanity !!
It basically tells you men are hunters women are gathers. Men have single purpose drives and women are all over the damn place. Some how you have to meet in the middle. It says women need to realize that when a guy is being open or honest …that’s really hard for them to do !!
I had a situation recently where a guy was honest with me brutally so. My initially reaction was to recoil back put up the defence walls and basically in my mind kick the shit out of him for said honesty. But then after I started thinking about it and after listening to this cd I completely realized that was really difficult for him to do. He laid it out on the table he said what was going on and he took a chance. Do I regret the way I initially reacted yeah maybe a little, have I tried to correct those actions and rectify it yep and time will tell. But the point is I realized suddenly with a moment of clarity that I got exactly what I always say I want , honesty, and I had no idea what to do with it ! It had never happened to me before. It was foreign territory lol !
So yes dating is hard and yes you get knocked back but if you open your ears and you open your eyes to the possibilities of something unreal then lif may just get a little easier for you