Lately I have been lacking in good material from the mouth of my mother…well my friends that changed last week …she came out with the most brilliant line
So my mum is a gardener and I mean like a carzy ass hardcore gardener. That thing is her baby for 5 months of the year.
When she weeds she weeds in a swimsuit , mainly for the tan but also when one sits in mud a dirt a swimsuit is much much easier to hose off.
well the other week she is standing by the kitchen sink after my mums version of a hardcore gardening session. You ask what this vision of beauty looks like well here comes the description:
Mud caked on the back, front and side of her
Hair all bunched together in a “topknot” on top of her very hot head
a paper towel stuffed down the front of her suit ( her sweat towel apperenatly)
and finally 3 rather hard to hide holes in the actual swimsuit in varying places.
At this point of taking in the vision of gardening beauty i said very politely to her
“maybe mum you should thinkabout throwing away that swimsuit?! it has holes in it !!”
she actually looked at me as if I had said to her take the tractor and destroy your garden right this instant !
she then proceed to inform me of the following information which disturbs me on many levels! conversation as follows:
MUM: “NO NO NO This is not to be thrown away it is my 5th BEST SWIMSUIT!!!!!”
ME: “5th best swimsuit ?!?! what the fuck do you mean ?!”
MUM: “Well this one is 5th because it has 4 holes in it the others have less holes”
ME: WHAT THE FUCK ?!?
yep that is my mum guys a women who has a 5th best swimsuit for gardening !! so not normal
Note: last weekend we had a heat wave of over 30 degrees mum was gardening in her infamous 5th best swimsuit and guess what !!! she has burnt bits on her where the holes were placed!! that was way to funny to even begin to look at !! lol