No title as no point !

30 08 2005

Will blog tomorrow promise way way to busy today actually have had to earn my keep at work!! My god the shovk and horror. Will explain my weekend though to you tomorrow look forward to:

growing a garden in my flat
attack of the killer vacuum
attack of the makes you extremely bone idle couch
and more fun things !!
no really was not that fun but oh well you get to hear about it ! Ha


It is a long weekend more importantly The last one Until Christmas !

25 08 2005

Hello All
I have calmed down slightly since the toliet paper entry although I still am ranting about it and yes still have one roll of purple bloody toliet paper left as well.

As stated it is a long weekend this weekend and I am very happy about this of course. The thought of one less day in the working world and lazing about it always a happy and very good thing! Now most people plan these mad crazy long weekend sort of things you knwo going away or going out and getting madly drunked and trollied. Not me I plan on sleeping never neding sleep is the mission for me. Now when my ceiling decided it was not happy where it was and caved in a few weeks ago it decided to murder the curtians as well. Alas I have realised this is a bad thing as I am being woken up every morning at 8 am no fail! Even if I neck a bottle of wine swallow 2 sleeping tablets and stay awake till well past my bedtime I wake up. So the second part of my missiont o help the first part of my mission is to get some curtians sorted some how for my bedroom. I may fail miserably at this but god dammit I am going to try.
Now other news hmmm lets see. To be honest it has been very quiet and dull of late in my life not a huge amount has really happened at all. Cleo the cat is doing well and has recently decided he likes toast yep toast people. Not bread has to be toasted bread. This may be misunderstood as kitty abuse but swear it is not he makes up his own mind and does these things. He recently ran into the door no idea how he missed the bright white closed door but he did and lord did he hit it hard. Must say was one of the funniest things i have seen in sometime stupid cat !
Matt and I are off to Brussels in November to have our first weekend away and to visit my brain box sister. Cannot tell you how excited I am about this. Plus I have yet again realised what a lovely boyfriend I do have as he is paying for it and then I will be sorting out how to pay him back. If he did not do this we would never have made it anywhere as it is known well that I do not have spare money at all anywhere and it sucks. So we are staying in a 5 star hotel ( Radisson SAS ) and upgraded for only £8.00 to the king royal club room. It is so so nice.
Alex is happy abotu this visit and yesterday informed me that she will try and get some visitor passes for NATO as well! does she want to keep this job ????? letting me near a place like that may very well end in disaster he he!!
so yeah that is my exciting news
will leave it at that as I am sure you are terminally bored now and wish to bash your head about out of sheer boredem as well
have great weekend all speak to you soon 🙂

You know the toilet paper is bad when ……

24 08 2005

right toilet paper ok odd thing to talk about but have to let this out and rant a little regarding toilet paper.

these are things that make you realize the toilet paper is bad :

1. When the cat will not play with it. By playing I mean taking one end of it dragging it to and fro your tiny 1 bedroom flat bathroom whilst shredding it and attacking it as if his life depends upon its death
2. When the packaging reads economy toilet paper. This should be made illegal there should never ever be the word economy in line with toilet paper !!!
3. Toilet paper that is any other color then white ! Why would you want purple toilet paper ????? Tell me the reasoning to this. You now see a veritable rainbow at the supermarket it is wrong and disturbing
4. Toilet paper that is recycled. I am all for saving the earth and environment but recycled toilet paper ?????? You are using it and when you use it you do not want to think of someone else once using it no matter how much technology has worked to make this safe !!!

you are now wondering what has brought this on what has made me so so upset about toilet paper ?? Well here it is. I ran out of toilet paper on Sunday and being the UK and no one working past well 10 in the morning ( actually to be fair they shut the shops at 4 which is still dumb as !) only the local family owned business was open so off I went in my grubbiest most scruffy cloths I owned to get my toilet paper. To my dismay all they had was recylced purple economy paper !!!! Oh sweet fucking lord ( sorry had to swear ) I had no choice but to purchase this. I have since realized the cat even hates it and will not play with it. Hence the of balanced rant above about toilet paper everyone

on a better note I have decided I wish to go to a spa in fact I am desperate to go to a spa for a weekend look at these pics !! To have that all weekend would be bliss more bliss I reckon then fags and booze althouh include fags and booze and I would become a squatter at the spa !

how damned happy and chilled do these women bloody look !!!


Driving ….. Drives me round the bend and back for another trip if need be

23 08 2005

Right driving , I love it actually I think it is great almost relaxing at times. However recently I have become aware of the fact that I am ever increasingly becoming a road rage sort of girl! I mean the littlest things now set me off on a complete wobbler screaming swearing raging mess!
As you may know I come from the land of open roads and polite drivers otherwise known as Canadians and what a great bunch they all are. I mean they may drive massive vehicles and the vast majority may be inbred but at least they understand the general principles of driving a vehicle that ways at least a ton!
In the world of UK drivers well it is a whole different ball game! Firstly indicators !! Someone took the time to invent these little dinky dinky things that flash a lovely green and have the most unbelievable amazing use …… Telling people where you are steering your death trap. They refuse to use them over here and if they do so happen to decide to humor drivers such as myself they use them literally as they are turning the corner tell me WHAT IS THE DAMNED POINT IN DOING THAT !!!!!??? IT IS TO LATE !!! I am already crawling up your ass because you are driving like a inbred dickhead! Seriously winds me up in case you were wondering
The other thing that gets my goat is braking ! My sweet lord these people brake because the sun is shining or because hmm they just bloody feel like it! Seriously you will be driving at a respectable speed possibly just over the limit one other car infront of you nothing in front of them and then BANG! He slams the brakes on so bleeding irritating stop it I beg you !!
you are probably wondering what brought this rant on well let me tell you. This morning I am happily ( or so I like to kid myself ) on my way to work. Now I like this time of driving as the red lights seem shorter there is less traffic and the people driving have to be at least semi intelligent as they are also ont heir way to work which in my naive mind means you must have at least 2 brains cells to rub together to get a job. Anyway driving along and I am approaching the one speed camera on my way and I slow down to the required limit of 30 miles a hour until the little white marker lines go away and I can speed back up to 40 miles a hour ( yes I know small children , drunks and rabbits are more likely to die at this speed !) when in my review mirror I see Jo blow the local scally in his beat up ford mondeo crawling up my ass. So I speed up a little thinking in my mind screw you buddy not getting by me it is a one way road. As I get further along the road I am slowed down by 2 buses and a big truck although I have slowed down dickhead as we will now refer to him by decides he is not and makes the decsion to join me in my car for tea he was that damned close !! Well I lost it went mental screamed blue murder at him waved him every rude gestrure I possibly knew and ensured all my windows were open so he could hear this abuse he so fully desvered!! Yet he continued to drive like a muppet!! Anyway I was nearing the end of my journey to work from hell when I came to a red light. Inbred man decides he is going to go into the turning lane beside me to jump me at the lights to get infront even though I was indicating to turn off the road as it was. This guy has his windows down and says whats your problem?! How could he evern ask me that !! I politely told him that his driving was my problem. He told me should have got out of the way ?!?!?! Oh my god lost it then and proceeded to tell him as the light was going green ( thank god as did not want to get battered ha ! ) that he was a inbred bastard that should never have been behind the wheel let alone have a license and that the sooner her realized that his shitty looking crap car was not a sports car the better !! Oh also told him he blatantly had a small dick ! Well he was dumbstruck and had no response back. I calmly drove away and made it to work feeling much better about myself
so there is my rant for the day ( sorry to subject you all to that but was very irritated and wound up by it all )

oh yeah fell out of bed in the middle of the night last night ! Ha nope I was not drunk stone cold sober !

Post weekend analysis

22 08 2005

hello all !! 🙂

well back at work on 4th coffee 5 th fag and I have had to cat naps at my desk ( least I think I have as bits of the day seem to have disappeared from my memory hmm not good that )
it is not that I had a overly heavy weekend it is because I am getting old I believe. I just cannot live without 8 hours sleep a night anymore so not cool !

Anyway the weekend. Went down to Matt’s for the weekend and had a lovely time. Pains me to admit this but I even really enjoyed the football !!! How very odd for all the moaning I do regarding this sport I actually had a really really good time at the match ( Watford vs Burnley in case you are asking ) So yes football was the first event. Went back to Matt’s he got fish and chip takeaway for dinner ( that’s right people he cannot cook I am serious a single thing and no microwaving is not cooking Matthew!!) the fish was sooooo yummmy hmmm.
Then it was out on the town in Watford. Met one of Matthew’s best mates Gary who was lovely. Anyway let me tell you the girls down south are a completely different breed from the girls up north. For starters they all wear white shoes and boots !! Oh my god these girls need to be told that this does make them look like hookers serioulsy does not matter what they wear clothing wise the white shoes will make them look like hookers. I mean dress sense does not seem to exist down there was the oddest thing think I have ever seen. Needless to say it made me feel much better about my dress sense which at times can be some what dodgy and I will fully admit to that !
Then back home yesterday. Was so tired after my drive I passed out on the couch. Full on face stuck to the pillow tongue hangin out arm stuck in the extended position I left it in when I fell asleep. You may know what I mean by the arm thing as it is complete agony when you wake up and gets stuck at the elbow and you have visions of you being like that for the rest of your life. You know arm extended and getting stuck in door ways or people thinking you are a Hitler loving freak!
so yeah that was my weekend really. This mornign was interesting though. Was in my regular morning routine ( yep I am routine orientated break the routine and the day is screwed ) when it started pissing it down like god was very upset with the world and he was letting us know about it. For some unexplainable reason the cat went mental when this happened and completely ran a muck round mylittle flat for a good 15 minutes howling running skidding then repeat the process. he eventually collapsed in a heap on the floor completely out of breath. Needless to say was extremely entertaining ha !

right picture time. Thought would be nice to add a picture of Matt and myself at his brother’s , Andy, wedding. So here it is. I really like it and plus I am shockingly brown which was very cool ha ! Has to be said believe matt was propping me up in the pic as I was so 3 sheets to the wind by that point he he

the other couple were Matts cousin and her finacee. Had a brilliant time with them and they were a absolute riot and made the evening even more enjoyable for me

right that’s it for now to tired to type and believe I may have another nap of course ensuring it does not look obvious I am doing this plus try not to hit the key board with my head either !


Beware—–ramble about to commence all !

19 08 2005

right here I go !
its Friday this is a good thing on so many many levels
you can drink ge3t drunk and not worry about consciences the next morning
you can stay up late for same reason as above ( except I have the sleep patterns of a 80 year old )
you can use it as a excuse to not cook and get a take away hmmmm
and it just makes you like the letter f more and more !

right last night ramble time :
last night I hit a all time low I mean intervention low seriously. so here is the tale: last night I was so hot and tired I had lost the will to live or even care about the fact that I had lost the will to live ! Also I was so tired I could not lift my fat ass off the couch to get one of the many bottles of wine I bought the other day let alone open it and pour, if I had actually managed to get up and open would have drank straight from the bottle. I felt aqs though I was letting the booze hound side down ( re blog entry : work a booze hounds safe haven ) I am a bad bad example of a alcoholic. Anyway by 10 pm I decided I needed to go to bed had to wanted get in and read my book ( trash of course pure shit love it ) but could not do it. Next thing you know the simple life interns shows up on telly and it happened. Went cross eyed and in a trance as I watched this pure and utter shite ! By the end of it I was so wound up with myself that I had allowed my semi intelligent brain absorb the shit I was wide eyed and bushy tailed awake grrrrr!! so I thought well I will iron and then go to bed it would all be good. so ironing away and then the next even worse thing happened!!! On came Brittney Spears and her new fly onto he wall docu drama reality show. Oh sweet lord went square eyed watched it as I drooled and began chewing on my own tongue!! I watched it all how bad is that !
so needless to say on top of having the worst nights sleep I was having nightmares about the half witted skinny bitches ! Not cool

right lighter and happier note! I finally have some pictures. You have to realize the ordeal I went through to get these. After 2 days of trying to figure out how to work the scanner and talking to the scanner and attempting to reason with it I managed to get them scanned. With help it has to be said and by a man at that who knew ?!?!? But then it got worse. I had to get the pictures to format right to get them on the blog or what ever it is you do to make them work that was another day and awhile lot of muttering and rocking to and fro. Finally my French work mate and friend Angeline otherwise known as frenchy did it for me. See the French are useful for something not a whole lot but something ! Ha
so here they are
I expect you to oh ahh cooo and point and laugh and of course comment. In fact demand you to comment !! :

my mum’s back garden in Canada. In fact that is a lie as the garden is so big will not fit in a picture. yep said that to make you all jealous really is lovely !!

my little ( 6 foot 4 ish ) bro George and his amazing a lovely girlfriend Amanda . Loves young dream these two !! Enough to make you want to puke ! He he

my little sister an her best friend’s , Emir, girlfriend Keiran . Don’t they just look lovely ha ! 🙂

my amazing lovely and somewhat drunk mummy !! God love the women for putting up with me ! Ha

these next 2 are of me . Very drunk I believe by the time they were taken.

note: change of shirt due to glass number 5 of champagne being split down the front of me. yep it was my fault split it on my own accord ! Be nice please not the best pics but they will do

so there you go all some pics. Will put some more on eventually. Put the scanner and I have declared a truce for the time being and we are leaving one another alone for a small time period to cool down

have a great weekend all !!

p.s off to London so will tell of the adventures on Monday


So so hot !

18 08 2005

MY GOD IT IS HOT HERE !! Seriously it is a rare thing for it to actually be hot here but by god it is going for it today! Of course by tomoprrow it iwill be pissing it down and we will be back to grey skies depressed looking people and a general lack of a will to live ! Normal for the UK and Manchester in particular.
1 day till the weekend and do I need it. I have had the busiest possible week at work and it just seems to keep getting worse for some odd unknown unexplainable reason. Well not completely unexplainable has to be said the Dutch ( where head office is located by the way) are the very explainable reason for my shocking week.

right let me fill you in on something ok. The Dutch are not as you think what so ever. When I first knew I would be in direct contact with the Dutch I had a vision a very clear vision of them as follows:

sweater vest wearing, clog wearing , pot smoking , feet kicked up laid back sorta people. How very very wrong I was !!!

they are anal, arrogant, procedure follow,uptight and down right pain in the ass sort of people! And god do they love forms forms of any kind to be filled out they will create it for you !! They are currently the bane of my existence at this point in time. it has to be said though they probably are still smoking the weed as their decsion making and 0thought reasoning process is fatally flawed !!
so yeah there you go do not like the Dutch at present at all not one little tiny bit !

went to the gym as per usual last night. And boy did I cane it no idea where the engery came from but did 6 km on the cross trainer and loved it ( yep you got it loved it ! ) then 850 painful sit ups that I know are meant to help me but shit I wonder sometimes if it is all a lie !!
anyway went on sun bed in hopes of maintaining my lovely tan and to de white my legs ( almost a impossibly task ) anyway went on for my usual 10 minutes and sweet Jesus I was melting forget going to the gym was sweating the pounds of in the bed !! But all I kept saying is I will be brown it will happen ! When I came out asked one of the method’s behind gym desk what was the score with the bed being so warm??? Were they trying to kill me ?????? Well turns out bulbs had been changed and I was the first and they forgot to warn me ! So basically I had the sun in close quarters to my milky fair skinned body !
just in case you are wondering I am surprisingly not a lobster I and not moving from one ass cheek to the other due to burns ha ha
right off and away now