How Do You Handle Rejection?

30 07 2008

Rejection is one of those odd things that people have a variety of remedies for. It is one of those things that can tear a person apart from the heart outwards.

I have seen friends and family handle it in so many different ways from flippant to sheer anger and rage.

How do you handle rejection??

I myself am a odd ball when it comes to this. Normally I will just shut down completely pretend it never happened brush it off and move on. To me reacting to rejection is a sign of weakness and to me weakness is just not a good thing in any way shape or form. I do not want the ones that reject me to know it really bothered  me all that much in the first place because in my eyes that shows them that they were sucessful in hurting me.

But on the very rare occasion I do show hurt when rejected and on a even slimmer occasion I will try and fight past that rejection and make the other realize that they in fact are wrong and have made a bad decsion.

Is it wrong of me to react that way even if it is a once in a blue moon occurance? No I do not think so just shows another aspect and dimesnion of who it is I really am.

Just so you know ..who I am is incrediable and amazing. Who I am is kind and good natured. Most importantly who I am is me and that makes me a sure bet in any situation


My 6 am Driving Song

28 07 2008

I am so not a country music girl. I may have grown up in the ultimate praire cowboy land and around farm boys and farm lifestyle but I was never drawn to country music BUT there is the odd song that I adore, mainly from home province boys like Paul Brandt or Emerson Drive.

Which leads to what is my 6am driving tune on a summer day on a open highway with no traffic and just me the window open and the wind blowing through as the sun shines or rises.

 The song is called Moments by Emerson Drive. If you are not a country listener I can almost promise you that you will still adore this song. The first time I had ever heard it, it actually made me cry. It is well written, well played and amazingly sung. The lyrics are not “my dog died, my wife left me, and I am a red neck” the lyrics in fact make you think about your life and where it has led you and where you are heading with your life.

It is my song that makes me smile as I drive most mornings. It is a song that i simply never get bored of listening to and still envokes a emotional reaction everytime I hear it

So although I am not “country” I do not shut it out and I will give the odd song a chance lol

Surgery Update For You All …and A Life Update Too !

28 07 2008

So I am not far off 3 months from surgery and to be honest in a state of shock as to how well it all really went and how well I currrently feel.

My scar is looking better and better each day. I think the best thing about the work my surgeon did on me is the fact that my scar is virtually flat I mean you cannot miss the damn thing and I know it is there however it is kinda cool lol. I have come to th conclusion that whatever guy I end up dating ( more on that to come all ) if they do not like the scar then they are kinda shit out of luck as it is not going anywhere any time fast people !

 I was soooo very lucky for excatly 2 months I had virtually no swelling my tummy could not have been more flat and even concaved. Then that all changed on the first week of my 2 month mark. I swelled up like a god damn balloon dammit ! Now to be fair partly my fault as to why I am currently so swollen. My surgeon said I coudl get back to the gym and working out at week 6. He said for the first couple visits no Ab work and to do cardio and light weights which I did. On the 5th visit I started doing my sit ups back extensions etc. It felt great i could feel everything fine nothing hurt. I got over ambitious and did the dreaded plank …oops …not so smart. Needless to say I woke up the next morning and it felt like I had just come out of surgery !! Big mistake!

 So I have had friends ask me and family if I have noticed different reactions from men now when I go out….the answer is hell yes!! And hell yes I am superficial about it. No the surgery did not change me as a person per say ( maybe confidence wise it did ) but it did change my phsyically and I recognize that as do the male speicies ! lol Needless to say not only did i get the plastic surgery on the stomach I got a fact lift in the boob department. I never had surgery done on the girls but the surgery I had done on the tummy seems to have made it look as though they got done as well…I am so not complaining. I am still contimplating if I will but before and after pics up on here and will decide soon. It is a personal thing but I have laid my life bare on this website so I see it as a natural progression to also put the pics up …we shall see

Ok now for life update: Firstly my beautiful horse Sonnet. Every day I ride I fall more and more in love with her. People that do not ride may not completely understand how that is possible or how it affects you as a person, I will try and explain it. When I am riding her I forget about anything that is possibly going wrong in my life or bugging me. When I ride her my entire being is centered and it makes me feel balanced and calm. I am focused and deterimened when I am riding her. So as you can tell it has helped me on so many personal levels to be blessed with having her in my life daily

Next bit of life…dating …yes I am still single…no I am not happy about it…yes I have visions of me being a 90 year sinpster living in a shoe box yelling at random strangers and throwing my kitchen scraps at them …no this better not become a reality. I would be lying if I did not admit I am slight jealous of my friends and their various relationships. I see it and I want it but for unknown reasons it seems to always be just out side of my reach radius. I have however been on a few dates with a few guys and have completely enjoyed myself I just have not however found that guy who has that sparkle in their eye when they see me. or found that guy that lights up a room when i see them. Maybe I will never find that guy btu I do not want to lower my standards or expectations or settle for something out of a desperate need to feel wanted and loved, people should never do that.

So thats all folks 🙂

Another Amazing Installment from Things My Mother Says!!

3 07 2008

Lately I have been lacking in good material from the mouth of my mother…well my friends that changed last week …she came out with the most brilliant line

 So my mum is a gardener and I mean like a carzy ass hardcore gardener. That thing is her baby for 5 months of the year.

When she weeds she weeds in a swimsuit , mainly for the tan but also when one sits in mud a dirt a swimsuit is much much easier to hose off.

well the other week she is standing by the kitchen sink after my mums version of a hardcore gardening session. You ask what this vision of beauty looks like well here comes the description:

Mud caked on the back, front and side of her

Hair all bunched together in a “topknot” on top of her very hot head

a paper towel stuffed down the front of her suit ( her sweat towel apperenatly)

and finally 3 rather hard to hide holes in the actual swimsuit in varying places.

At this point of taking in the vision of gardening beauty i said very politely to her


“maybe mum you should thinkabout throwing away that swimsuit?! it has holes in it !!”

she actually looked at me as if I had said to her take the tractor and destroy your garden right this instant !

she then proceed to inform me of the following information which disturbs me on many levels! conversation as follows:

 MUM:   “NO NO NO This is not to be thrown away it is my 5th BEST SWIMSUIT!!!!!”

ME: “5th best swimsuit ?!?! what the fuck do you mean ?!”

MUM: “Well this one is 5th because it has 4 holes in it the others have less holes”


yep that is my mum guys a women who has a 5th best swimsuit for gardening !! so not normal

Note: last weekend we had a heat wave of over 30 degrees mum was gardening in her infamous 5th best swimsuit and guess what !!! she has burnt bits on her where the holes were placed!! that was way to funny to even begin to look at !! lol