When All Else Fails

26 02 2009

 I am asked on almost a daily basis by various people,friends and acquaintances why I ride and why it is such a big deal to me. Trying to answer that is like trying to explain the big bang theory to a cat people ..But I will attempt to help you understand the reasoning.

 Now this is not a “wooo is me post” or even a self pitying post but it is a “lay my heart bare” post …so deal with it dammit

 I am 30 years old, I started my life from scratch for the second time in less then a decade when I moved back to Canada from the UK. I do not think you can begin to grasp the magnitude of that action and those decisions. I loved my life in the UK but my link was missing and that was my family and Canada ultimately. So I made the decision to move back here …was it the right decision …most definitely was it a good decision ….I am still not sure. I miss so much over there on a daily basis.

 I am 30 years old and I have been single for what feels like a eternity. I feel like a hamster stuck in the wheel and for love nor money I cannot get out of that damn wheel ! I am at my best or prime when I am in a relationship as I think most human beings are actually. Those people that tell you that the single life rocks …yeah completely talking out of their asses it so does not rock

 So to replace that empty and yep lonely and tear jerking feeling …I ride and I ride with passion and with zest and with love. I ride to feel free and to feel compassionate. I ride to learn to trust myself and my life in another beings hands ( or hooves ). I ride to be honest about my abilities and what I can achieve. Riding is my passion and it is my sport …its also the thing that terrifies me the most. I have this fear tat if I fail at riding , the thing I love most in the world, then I am destined to fail at all other events in my life.

So riding is kinda like my addiction! I get a actual buzz off it when I manage to do something well with Sonnet and do it really well. I get such a overwhelming sense of achievement when it all clicks together like a puzzle.

So when all else fails no matter how lonely I am or how sad I feel or angry and letdown I know I can go to that horse tack her up get on and it will no longer matter. I know that she has the ability to teach  me to trust myself and others. I know that she trust me when I trust her. So even if I am eternally single it will not matter really …I have a horse who has taught me more about myself in the last 12 months then in the last 30 years.

Sure a actual human being would be great for a relationship but the horse is a great stand in for now lol

So Sonnet is my stand in relationship ….and she does a damn fine job people

those-eyes

sonnet-last-spring

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One response

16 03 2009
Kate Langford

Hello babes – I’m back . Couldn’t check on your site whilst I was on maternity as I hadn’t got your address. Are you on facebook? x

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