Funny Story …. So I Quit My Job

3 09 2017

It has been known for sometime in my circle of friends and family and a select few work colleagues that I have been itching to get out of the company and position I have been in for the last two years.

Never have I felt so stifled or excluded in a role as I have in the last few months due to some pretty big management changes. The boss that hired me and who I deeply respected and equally feared lol ( mainly because I never wanted to let him down) left at the beginning of this year. After that it was a slippery slope and downward spiral of frankly shitty shitty  management and bullshit.

A couple of months ago I was approached by a client ( note I never signed a non compete agreement ) . After a few interviews and meetings, all of which went really well, I was made an offer.

i am not one for believing in “signs” or messages but the offer came through on the anniversary of dads death . My dad taught me to grab life by the god damn balls, go for what I set my sights on in life and to trust my gut. So I accepted and incredibly good offer from a fantastic company last Wednesday !

I was walked out the door 5 mins afer handing resignation in , asshole gm refused to stand up from his desk or offer his hand to shake so I made a pointed move of thrusting my hand in front of him, being classy and thanking him for the education and chance to work for the company ( all while thinking you sexist slug of man screw you ) and I merrily skipped out the front door.

So Tuesday my new adventure starts and I cannot describe how excited I am and how much I am looking forward to this chance being given to me .

Ladies …. seize the day ! If you are being repressed in your roles as professionals , fucking get out find a place that will help you flourish and grow into a force that cannot be stopped ! Again I say SEIZE THE FUCKING DAY LADIES !!

 

 

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That Void Only a Dad Can Fill

30 08 2017

Today is a bit of a somber one but also one of reflection and great memories. See today is the day that I have spent a equal part of my life with and without my dad. 19 years ago Dad final had ” the big one” as my mother so affectionately called heart attacks ha ha.

So as kids we grew up basically knowing Dad was going to die. Blunt I know but the truth. He had heart disease and was on the heart transplant list ( clearly did not get the heart ! ) Rather then shelter us from death, the realities of death and all the nuances that come with it , our parents had us face it head on. It was done with humour and in a pragmatic way. The humor part might be lost on some but to us it worked. Such threats like “If you do not clean your room your dad will have the big one and then you will really regret it” ( it worked for the first few years but soon lost its ability to get us to clean our rooms ). We were raised not to fear death but to accept it and we really did accept it.

What also came with this is the best role model of a relationship out there , my Mum basically married my Dad knowing most Taylor men die fast and young due to congestive heart failure. It was love pure love. Do not get me wrong he drove her bloody crazy and when they fought, wow they fought, however they always came back together and the forever loved one another .

There are so many stories I could tell about John Taylor and so many adventures to recount to many in fact but the fact that there are that many means he is forever there always over our shoulders, always watching out for us and frankly cringing at some of the stupid shit we have done .

He is my role model of what a Dad should be , the goal I strive for in a relationship and in his general humanity. For all his gruffness, John Taylor was a compassionate caring man and that emulates in his children now ,

His son is now a father and I see so much of my Dad shining through in George and I know Claire has the best Dad because of our Dad, and I know Claire will know her Grandad John because of how she is being raised and loved.

So I would like to think that he would be proud and content in how his children have turned out and tackled life. I would like to think he would be forgiving and understanding of our mistakes and stupid moments in life. But most of all I would like to think he knows how much he is missed and loved forever and always.

 

Love you and miss you Dad xoxo





The Adventures of Dating in Your 30″s …. The Struggle Is Real People

29 08 2017

Last night I was lying in bed and thinking what will be my first full blown post back into the blog world. It was a tough choice ! Do I write about my family and all their craziness over the last 8 years ? Always going to be a entertaining read. Do I write about my health and the frankly terrifying month of April when I lost all the vision in my right eye and had determined I had a good run and Trevor the Tumour was ” ending” me . But no I determined the first post absolutely has to be about my dating and relationship adventures and mishaps over the last 8 years. I am not sure I can account for all experiences as I am pretty sure I have permanently blocked some from my memory ha !

As stated in my come back post prior to this one I am in fact single however I am happily single for the most part ( humans by nature need companionship and so that will forever be a void when a person is single ) . I however have dated .. a lot and oh the land mines I have dodged and the gold dust ones that have slipped through my fingers.

So turns out dating in your mid 30’s is a whole different ball game compared to the wild time of your 20’s ! First of all the selection of men has changed from clueless sometime pretty boys to older , not so clueless and well not as pretty ( read dad bodies lol which for the record I like ! way easier to deal with then a washboard stomach mirror loving preening fool lol ! ) Also way more married men out there playing the field ( judge if you want it is not me perusing them but quite the opposite and look its not like I am looking for a meaningful relationship with that type of guy , the are more like ” fillers” until something real comes along. I am not so delusional to think they will leave the wife and start up with me .That never happens ladies ! )

There are a lot more single dads out there which is both a blessing and a curse , The blessing being these men do not demand all your attention all the time because their little ankle bitters have soccer practice, Hockey practice and generally a crazy ex wife to contend with which means more time to yourself. The downside is more time to yourself sometimes, You will always be second in line and if you cannot handle that I highly recommend all you woman in my age group dating to avoid the single dads . If you cannot handle being second or by yourself every second weekend then it is not the style of dating life for you. For me it works 100% because I do like to be alone , I do like to have my bed and my home to myself, and god dammit I want to get drunk once and while without worrying what I may look like or behave like around him ha !

Here is the list of my dating adventures over the last few years :

  • The pass the check guy ( such a winner in life ). I was asked out on a date by a guy who owned a tech company. So he picked a really nice place downtown , I got dressed up , looked good and my A game was on point. So we have the date , he appears interested conversation is flowing somewhat decently but there is no massive spark. I believe spark is a bit of a myth that it is something the develops nine times out of ten. Well night ends , he asks the waiter for the check and then it gets odd…. He opens the book holding the bill looks at it, reaches for his wallet looks in wallet and then closes the wallet?? and then …… very smoothly slides the bill to me?! I was speechless utterly lost for words. Now I do NOT ever expect a guy to automatically pay for dinner ever normally when they go to pay I offer to pay as well and if they refuse then I always say I want to cover the tip to the server or if it was a awesome date I say next one is on me ! This guy did not even flinch held eye contact with me and slid that bill over like a pro. I paid , downed by drink got up and walked my ass on out of there.
  •   Next was Steve, oh Steve , we dated for about 9 months. I did not think it was possible to find someone more blunt or potentially louder then me . Turns out it is . The adventures of dating Steve were many and varied ranging from friends having to rescue his drunk ass from the cubicles at On The Rocks bar after drinking so much booze he got trapped in the cubicle to him trying to get busy with me all while wearing a sleep apnea mask …yep I effectively had sex with Darth Vadar . I will never live that one down ever, it is a constant source of entertainment for my friends to this day.
  • Ginger Tim . I do not need to say anything more then Ginger , and I will never date a ginger again.
  • Simon . The one that was eluded to in my previous post and my broken heart. Irish tall , handsome, smart and funny. Fell hard and fast down that rabbit hole and can say that break up broke me and I am still reeling from it and repairing from it. He is very happily married now !! to a really lovely girl and I can only hope them nothing but pure joy and happiness , That is my most genuine statement I can make in regards to them.
  • Mike . Another name I likely will never date, that would  be the one that I dated for 10 months only to find out he in fact was dating another woman as well ! Such a charmer !! My lovely best friend Jessica went into full blown inspector clouseau for me as any solid bestie would ( she also threatened to do some harm if required which makes her more epic ) Anyway it all came to a end on the morning of Christmas day ! MERRY CHRISTMAS LOUISA !! yeah that one was a douche,

There are many other brief encounters and I am sure I will write about them at some point but those are the current stand outs in my dating life.

Yes I am actively out there looking however I am not desperately looking ( no one likes a crazy loud desperate girl people ! ) I am happy with the odd bit of companionship to be honest and that will do me.

I am never and will never be closed to the possibilities of love however my life no longer revolves around the endless pursuit of it

 





I’m Back ……

28 08 2017

Well hey hey hey blogging world ! Miss me ?? Come on you know you did! Its been far far to long.

Recently someone who read my blog suggested that I should rev this thing back up and get writing again . I at first thought ” oh hell to the no I am not putting my self out there as much as I did previously ” but then the thought would not leave my god damn brain !

So here I am back read to throw it all out there again for all to see, judge, laugh maybe take some solace in it.

Hmm lets see …it has been 8 years since my last entry , What could possibly have happened in 8 years you ask ?! … well

  • bought a condo and sold the condo
  • bought a house and still in the house, it is my sanctuary and the place I like to get day drunk in on occasion
  • I have not one but 2 dogs, equally as ugly as one another one being much smarter then the other
  • I have a beautiful horse who I compete with but more importantly who I find my calm and peace with. She is where I laugh hardest and also cry the hardest, that big ol neck has soaked up almost all my tears.
  • I am …single…yes still frigging single .
  • I met the love of my life 2 years ago , it ended my heart shattered into a million shards and I think only 500,000 of those shards have gone back into place. I never believed people when they say hearts break. mine did in the worst way
  • I actually LOVE ! being single I think with age and maturity I have learnt to embrace the solitude and I run my own game and it is kind of awesome frankly !
  • I have dated and continue to date. I refuse to settle for the next best thing and would rather date find the odd moment of companionship and then move along until that right moment occurs … or doesn’t and if it doesn’t oh well !
  • I am a Aunt !! I still have a strong aversion to children however baby Claire stole my heart and to be honest of those millions of pieces it was broken into she probably repaired 250,000 of them , She is perfection.
  • I have a career. That’s all I can really say on that front. Change is a foot and in this day and age of social media and the internet I will not be saying much more on that just yet.
  • I am still a complete gym freak. However my goals and bench marks have changed as I have aged, I have finally learnt to love myself for myself. Look I am not skinny I am never going to be skinny and fuck I never want to be skinny people ! what I am is a hot god damn woman who is comfortable in her skin , adores lifting weights and says ” hey call me fat … its a word…its really not that scary assholes” so yeah I work out … a lot … like 6 days a week lol
  • I had a major health scare this spring which resulted in me being diagnosed with MS (* pre MS I have to have another attack occur before its a fullblown thing ) look yes MS is scary as fuck but at the time all the symptoms presented as a tumour , I even named him trevor and I was ready to throw a party for him . No tumour just MS , I can live and function with MS. its all good in my books.
  • I still swear . A lot. Deal with it.
  • I have a close knit tight group of friends who have lifted me up at my utter worsts and have given me laughs and adventures that are simply put amazing !
  • I am still in Edmonton Alberta, I do not intend on staying here , the west coast calls my soul and I belong there.
  • My family is still crazy and off the wall and maddening and perfect all at once.

So that’s life right now folks, 38 still single however not a crazy cat lady and able to pull some pretty decent dates with some pretty decent men ( although there have been some duds lol trust me you will hear about them I am sure ! )

It feels good to write again and let the words flow out, I have missed it





Its A Love Hate Thing

27 11 2008

Christmas….Love it and hate it …feel bad for saying that but it is completely true!

Anyone who knows me knows I get overly excited for Christmas. I love the time off I adore spending time with my family and absolutely love giving gifts to my friends and family. I do love Christmas I really do but there is a big part of me that is ever increasingly hating it 😦

I hate being single around Christmas I really do. I want to be able to wake up next to someone that morning and watch them open the gifts I spent time and put thought into. I want spend the day with them and just chill like you do one Christmas day. But it is not just the day I hate its the whole season.

 I have refused to go to the company party this year because going last year single was not a good experience and was rather depressing. So on company Christmas party day I shall be at the stables Ipod firmly rammed into my ears as I ride my horse and attempt to not feel pathetic lol

 The season is hard really when you think about it. You see couples shopping together, you see them getting out of taxis on their way to various functions and parties and you cannot help but feel ever so lonely and somewhat unloved…yes that is depressing but its my blog so suck it up lol

Even worse this year is that my family is all flying off to Europe on boxing day for 4 weeks leaving myself 1 dog and 3 cats alone in the house ….oh the joy. Not only alone but alone with huge amounts of left overs and decorations to take down. Do not get me wrong I am very pleased they are all going and I really hope they have a brilliant time but in the same breath I am kind of sad at the thought of it all really. Can’t help it just seems to be my state of mind right now.

I plan on drinking large amounts of red wine or beer or tequila, eating as much leftovers as humanely possible and wallowing in my own self pity for a grand total of 48 hours and then I will get over it and move on to the next year.

So yes as much as I love and adore Christmas and all it brings being single drives that wedge of hate into my mindset and it is wedged in there good and proper !





Perfection

26 11 2008

My best friend and the person who knows me best just shared a quote from Bob Marley and now I am totally and utterly stealing it because it is likely one of the truest and most heart wrenching and warming things I have read all wrapped up into one. Read it . Learn from it. Believe it,

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” -Bob Marley





People I Admire

26 11 2008

There are 2 blogs I read with alarming regularity right now. They are both women who give me such a sense of hope and happiness when I read what they write. So I came to the line of thought that I need to give these two women a big shout out and explain why I love their blogs so damn much

 

 The first one is Kristen over at Our Army Life. This is a a blog I found actually via the secret Ornament swap abbilyeverafterputs on at xmas each year. Kristen is the wife of Zach and he has just begun his basic training in the US army this month. She has kindly decided to share her fears hopes and feelings on her blog about his absence in her life, her longing to have him back and her life and love for him. I really love going over to her little corner of the net and reading about her letters she sends to Zach and the letters and phone calls he sends and makes to her. Her story gives me hope that yes in fact through it all love truly does make a vast difference in ones life. Go over and show her your support and give her the encouragement she needs…Zach is back home from training in less then a month for the holidays and you can literally feel her vibrate with excitement at the thought through the Internet …its sweet lol

The second one is a wow blog. This is a love story and a half. This is a story that had me in tears when I read through it from start to finish . It is Stephanie over at The Road Less Travelled. Stephanie and her husband Sidnei have been through the mill and back again. Their love has been tested in such a way that others cannot even begin to imagine or wish upon another. The story is long and all I can say is go over there and read it from start to finish to get the full blown scope of what has happened to them. The basics is that Sidnei is from Brazil , they were married and went away on honeymoon. Upon returning from the honeymoon Sidnei was detained for not having a passport or paper work basically to get back into the US. Stephanie had to heartbreakingly leave her husband in jail in peurto rico and fly back to the states. The kicker to all this ….is he is still in that jail and has been there since March people. While he sits in Jail she fights with the powers that are immigration to get her husband back to her and her home and her heart.

Please go over and offer her nothing but support and encouragement. She is one of those rare people that shows you true love exists that your heart is what drives you froward each and every single day

So those are my 2 blogs of note right now. They are the ones I read to remind myself that life is not that bad, they remind me love does happen and it is so very important to a persons well being and state of mind