Body Talk …Freaky Shit People

2 02 2009

Last month I tried something that can best be described  as “out of my comfort zone” , I am never good out of my comfort zone and a sense of panic generally sets in rather quickly, but I did this thing anyway

 At my stables a lot of people have had this thing called Body Talk done to their horses. Its kinda hard to explain but I will try. Basically a person who practices body talk literally talks to your body, best way to describe it is your full of circuit breakers and some of those breakers are flipped to the off position, the person basically flips them to on to help you work better or your animal.

So I thought ” eh what the hell go for it , whats the harm”

It was interesting and a little freaky to say the least. I will tell you about Sonnet first and what was said regarding her. Basically my horse is slightly panic and anxiety filled and due to the fact that I am the same way we literally feed off one anther’s fears effectively making for one big ball of nerves stress and fear. She “balanced” Sonnet’s earth which is where her panic center is located. She also did Raki on both Sonnet and myself. Sonnet has had a sore back for a while partly due to saddle issues. However the lady said also sonnet was sucking in or tucking up her stomach muscles when I was riding her and the reason she was doing it was because of me. Why me you ask? well the lady said due to the fact that I have no feeling in my middle section of my body ( from the plastic surgery) I could not feel sonnet fully moving and so sonnet was compensating and trying to help me ….the women had no idea I had no feeling there …at that point I heard the X files theme song ! lol lol

All in all it was a good experince I did see a marked difference in Sonnet when I rode her the next time after the body talk session and so I am doing another one on Wednesday to see what comes out of it.

On another note she did do some body talk on myself as well and well best way to put it is that it was emotional and a little scary for me.

The non scary bit that was noted was that my lymphatic system was out of whack and that she had balanced that out. She said not something to freak out about but to keep a eye on.

Now the emotional scary bit…..the first thing she said to me was that I had self worth issues and that I see myself as nothing. My initial reaction was shock and anger for about 5 seconds …my second reaction was tears and the acknowledgement that she was completely right and yes I do indeed have these self worth issues. I cannot honestly tell you why that is and I know there is no reason for it. I have a great life, a incredible job, a amazing family. I like to think of myself as a decent looking women who looks after herself. I like to think that I am a great person that is driven and loving and kind . Yet I do in fact have those self worth issues and when she said that it hit just a little to close to home a little to hard , tears welled up in my eyes as I came to the realization that I need to some how repair that broken part of me , I honestly have no idea how I plan on doing that but god I soooo am making the effort to fix it

So all in all it was a eye opening tear wrenching experince and one I am putting myself through again on Wednesday


The Joys of Dating …NOT ! lol

2 02 2009

 Well you all know my single life has consisted of a series of dates to try and find that “one” …Do I believe there is one person out there …no not at all. I believe you go through a series of events in your life that a person fits into and fits into well. Some people are lucky enough to find that puzzle piece of a guy that fits into every event in your life. I unfortunately have not been that lucky and have has various puzzle pieces for each major milestone in my life.

I had the guy that I fell in love with when I moved to the UK. He helped me settle he helped me realise I could do things without my family as my constant pillars and pick me uppers.

I had the guy in the middle of my life in the UK who made me realise I am desired and could be chased by a guy lol. HE was also my first true serious fall madly in love and he was also the first guy to utterly and completely crush and destroy my heart and my soul. I have never felt such despair as I did due to his lack of thought and cruelty.

So I came back to Canada for the next phase of my life and have been single since then ….over 2 years very very long years.

I have dated here and I have met some cool guys but what I have not done is found that guy who made me feel that butterfly thing in the pit of your stomach. I have not met that guy that I am comfortable with and can be myself with . Until recently that is lol ( that is a completely different blog entry and I will write about it soon once I get it all through my head and figure out what the fuck happened …trust me it is a doozer its like something out of sex and the city!! lol )

 Is it so hard to find that person that is your puzzle piece? should it be hard work or do you follow the eternally irritating advice of ” It will happen when you least expect it ?”

I read a article in a British magazine recently that hit a little to close to home for my liking. Basically a women who was in her early 40’w talked about how due to her own pickiness and high standards ( too high ) she had managed to keep herself single for over 10 years. That she had the list of requirements and if a guy did not tick even one item on the list but ticked all the rest she did not date them. She eventually did meet someone and married him and the kicker is she actually dated him a few years back and because he did not tick boxes she discounted him as the right one !!!

I am sooo fearful I have done that. That out of the guys I have dated in the last 2 and a half years from the very first to the most recent guy I have let the one slip through my fingers. I am scared I have not fought for what I should have fought for and that I took the easy route and just backed down and chalked it up to a bad experience and a bad judgement call

 Dating is not fun people , there is nothing fun about it. I am not a serial dater and fear being labeled that but I am also very clear on what I want and what will work for me …Dating is a full time job guys

My Writing Groove is Back Baby !

2 02 2009

Much apologies for my recent lack of writing. I was in the middle of a much needed break from anything blog related. I have had a few things in the pipeline and so had to deal with them before I could do this one properly …but I am back and I am back with a vengance . Loads of entries on the way on topics like :

New Year means a New Home

Boys boys and boys …the sheer heart break and stupidity of it all !

Travel and my itchy feet

Ohhhhh a little thing called Body talk that I had done on my horse and turns out I may have needed it more then her

And the ever present weight and workout battle ! oh the pain


I am back people …sorry !

The New Year …The New Me ….Maybe ….

29 12 2008

 I have never been the person that makes new year resolutions simply because I believe if you make that resolution you are destined to fail…may sound negative but I think it is logical thinking.

But what I make sure I do at new years is set myself goals or set myself parameters that I need to stay in or need to reach. This year is no different and I have set some big ones and a few little ones as well.

 Firstly in past years I have said I hop enot to be single, or I will try not to be single. Yeah totally not saying that this year. This year I am saying I WILL NOT BE SINGLE. I have no desire to be single, it is not a great life and people that say it is are jaded and lying to themselves. There is nothing better then sharing yourself with someone or having that someone there for you and you there for them. So this year I will not be single Internet.

 Secondly I am weeding my friends, I am distancing myself from the ones that clearly are not as good a friend as I may have thought and getting rid of the toxic ones. I will pull the incredible ones even closer and keep them that way. I will not be lied to or hurt this year and I will not be made a fool of. A true friend does not lie white lie or make another person feel less of a friend. So this year is a weeding year

As for the little things. I plan on laughing at myself more, I plan on taking more time to appreciate the things I do have in my life. I plan on doing this insane rowing training and surviving it lol lol !!!

I plan on showing Sonnet as much as possible throughout the summer.

But mostly I plan on having fun and realizing I am pretty lucky . That I have a incredible life and a amazing family. I will remind myself there are others that would envy my life and so not to take it for granted

Christmas at the Taylors…Never a Dull Affair

28 12 2008

Well we do not do things b0y half measure in this family and so if we do Christmas we do it with style and drama !

It all started with Christmas Eve morning ….7:30 am. I get a phone call from mum who had left 15 minutes earlier saying ” the good news is I am ok Louisa, bad news is Subbie the subaru is totalled” She had been crossing the highway to get to the other highway. She did not see the beast of a GMC truck coming at her at a incredible 110km and hour….Tboned her passenger side, destroying her car in the process. The guy who stopped and saw it all said he was terrified to get out of his car and go to mum’s thinking it would be the scene of a horror movie….she was fine. She got out of the car herself, she had a bruised right side and a small cut on her hand.

When I pulled up to the scene and saw her car I was in tears, absolute tears …In my mind there was no way she was ok looking at the wreckage of her car. The police were there already and the lovely man who helped mum guided me to his car where she was trying to get warm…and she was fine. I am not one to wax lyrical about acts of god or fate or chance it is simply not my style, but in this case it was incredible that she was alive. I can safely say it was one of the scariest moments of my life and most terrifying. I kept thinking what could have happened, how would I have had to tell my sister and brother the worst news possible….But thankfully I did not have to and she is totally fine ( and currently in Europe preparing to ski in France …more about that to come lol )

Christmas day its self was lovely kinda quiet and strange not having my little sister here with us. But it was wicked either way. The presents were AMAZING!! My mum got me a coach hand bag and my life was complete at that moment ha ha ha !!! Mum loved her Mitre Saw…yes that is what we got her and she loves that thing …she is odd and even a collision accident has not cured that strangeness in her ha ha

Boxing day ….yet more drama. George and Mum were due to fly to calgary to catch their flight to London at 1pm. When we looked online loads of Calgary flights were delayed …this was to much of a risk to take and miss their connector to Heathrow. We tried to rent a car for them …no go. So eventually we got them on the bus to Calgary at noon. So00 after much flapping running around and tension Andrea ( Georges uber amazing girlfriend) and I waved them off and promptly hit starbucks then shopped our asses off.

So there is the holidays so far. I am now in the house in silence everyone has left. It is both nice in one respect and a little sad in another.I feel a bit at a lose as to what to do with myself with everyone gone for 4 weeks but it is also nice to just relax ………

The long Needed Writing break is over …I am back baby !

28 12 2008

So I took a long needed writing break over the holidays and really happy I did it because my writing mojo is back people!

So there will be a few post on the way. I needed the break life has been a little like being in a blender on ice crusher mode and so writing took a slight back burner. Between work, riding, rowing training and everything in between I just had a mental block writing wise plus I was so god damn tired by the end of each day I was unable to type lol

So here comes the new entries guys !!

The Mail Man Came !!!!!!!!

21 12 2008

So I have been patiently waiting for my ornaments to arrive from the ornament swap I took part in this year ran by Julie ….well they arrived !! I was soooo excited when I recieved my little note from the post man saying a parcel was waiting for me at the post office. So excited that I made myself late for my training session at the stables on Sonnet lol lol I just simply was not willing to wait so I went to pick then up ….and I am soooo pleased I did !!!

I was sent not one not two but 3 lovely ornaments which have now taken pride and place on our Christmas tree. So here are the pictures for you all kto see my lovely ornaments !


Now there is  a slight issue …..I have no idea who sent them to me !! lol Well I know her name is Lisa and I know she is in Florida but no idea which website is hers …Soooooo Lisa my dear please tell me your website!!! lol lol I adore the ornaments fell instantly in love with the penguin one of course due to my obbsession with penguins so I have named him Percy !

Thank you so much Lisa and again Julie thank you I have loved this experince and cannot wait till next years swap !!!!


UPDATE!!!:  I now have Lisa’s blog address thanks to Julie. So go and visit the lovely lady who sent me my ornaments !!