That Void Only a Dad Can Fill

30 08 2017

Today is a bit of a somber one but also one of reflection and great memories. See today is the day that I have spent a equal part of my life with and without my dad. 19 years ago Dad final had ” the big one” as my mother so affectionately called heart attacks ha ha.

So as kids we grew up basically knowing Dad was going to die. Blunt I know but the truth. He had heart disease and was on the heart transplant list ( clearly did not get the heart ! ) Rather then shelter us from death, the realities of death and all the nuances that come with it , our parents had us face it head on. It was done with humour and in a pragmatic way. The humor part might be lost on some but to us it worked. Such threats like “If you do not clean your room your dad will have the big one and then you will really regret it” ( it worked for the first few years but soon lost its ability to get us to clean our rooms ). We were raised not to fear death but to accept it and we really did accept it.

What also came with this is the best role model of a relationship out there , my Mum basically married my Dad knowing most Taylor men die fast and young due to congestive heart failure. It was love pure love. Do not get me wrong he drove her bloody crazy and when they fought, wow they fought, however they always came back together and the forever loved one another .

There are so many stories I could tell about John Taylor and so many adventures to recount to many in fact but the fact that there are that many means he is forever there always over our shoulders, always watching out for us and frankly cringing at some of the stupid shit we have done .

He is my role model of what a Dad should be , the goal I strive for in a relationship and in his general humanity. For all his gruffness, John Taylor was a compassionate caring man and that emulates in his children now ,

His son is now a father and I see so much of my Dad shining through in George and I know Claire has the best Dad because of our Dad, and I know Claire will know her Grandad John because of how she is being raised and loved.

So I would like to think that he would be proud and content in how his children have turned out and tackled life. I would like to think he would be forgiving and understanding of our mistakes and stupid moments in life. But most of all I would like to think he knows how much he is missed and loved forever and always.

 

Love you and miss you Dad xoxo

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